a boom boom here
September 22, 2011 :: 8:03 a.m.

Tis 8am, my hair is up in pigtails, my nails are painted blue with purple glitters. I'm wearing a t-shirt with a death angel print, and a fun sea feeling skirt. Listening to a list full of punk-ska and metal/electronic music that's keeping me bouncy.
Hmmmn. I do believe it *IS* past that point of no return for me.
Oh man, tis been such an emotional rollercoaster weak for me.
First, I've been so excited, there's just 6 weeks until NaNoWriMo and I am so ready and pumped for it this year, RAWR!!!
I started plotting and planning and feeling so prepped as I worked on getting ready for November. I had all the main storyline plots done, just needed to work on some characters and then the scenes timeline.
Then two days ago the laptop froze and gave me tis old "no bootable device" msg. Now tis on hold as I wait to deal with whether I'm gonna be able to get windows reloaded and save the info, or if tis gone.
I'll probably just go ahead and make myself rewrite it in a day or two. I'm just annoyed because it felt mostly done, and I liked how it had come out now I'm hoping I remember everything and can make it sound right again. ARGH!

Secondly, this whole deal with SB totally snuck up on me and suddenly I'm asking myself "Wait, is it a bad sign to realize we're cyboring nonstop from the moment he wakes, until going to bed at night? Is it an addiction?" then when I ask my other friend for opinion they say "Aww, sounds like a relationship in the beginning!"
Oh, crap. Rly? 4 srs?
The day I realized he woke, txtd me, then txted me on the way to school, then from class, and later as he left... I knew it def was something else than our harmless chatting had been for years.
How do I miss this things happening? We had an agreement from the start, and I accepted it and it was perfect that way. "No Attachments" was our deal, we could cybors and play as much as we felt like, there was freedom and never any pressure. It was a take it whenever it comes, and no worries if not. If one of us wasn't around for awhile, that was fine and not rly discussed, no apologies. If we just talked and played, and didn't cybor, he was fine and accepted that, no guilt or anything. Just lots of fun times.
If we needed to vent, then that worked for us to, we have the same attitude about a lot of things so yeah, it works.

Heck, our "take it when it comes" has always included not rly even saying bye when we leave, we'll talk bout whatevers funny and interesting for awhile, then run off and do whatever else. no bye, no aloha, no guilt about it. no goodnights. I'm not saying it didn't ever happen sometimes, just not usually, it was fine. No hurt or worry, nothing. Now I'm not so sure if going back to that would be okay again. Hmmmn.
There was even a time he had been asking me about going to some wedding out of state with him, cuz he hadn't felt comfy going, and I was like okay sure why nots.
What the hell happened. Hee.
Suddenly last week it went boom boom boom,


stray kitten, abandoned
still lost here in
a box w/ razorblades
AKA DFW Texass

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