Dear Diary:
After my birthday I decided it was time for a Kittay vacation of sorts, I thought I should finally get my tail to Florida and visit my Big Sillay Sounds good so far, it's about time, right?
So he arranges all of it for me, since he's the great travelling planner type and I've only departed Tex-ass once in my life, and since I am only a pint sized kitt`n here and can't do a lot of things Big Powerful Peoples can.
He set up my Kittay Kamper with the labels to get me there, lotsa goodies, and the works while I got to pack my Carefree Kittay Suitcase eagerly. I started humming an old Beach Boys tune about Kokomo without noticing it and dancing dances a furry four pawwed and tail wearing critter should never ever ever attempt before I knew it. I don't know why, I just couldn't control myself.
So the time comes and I hop on in while Da Woman takes me to be shipped off. Then, vrrroom vrrroom zippitty doo, what do ya know I'm off. On my way to great places I've never seen before. And the added bonus is I'll get to meet his furry boy soon too. Yay!
Or not.
I took a little snooze you see, and when I woke up and knew that I'd stopped moving and there was a commotion going on outside I wondered if I'd already arrived.
But something seemed a bit off with the audio picture here. I knew I was hearing other felines out there, but when a cat speaks in "Meow, Eh"s ya know you're not in Kansas, or Texass anymore.
And you're most likely NOT in a country that would elect Dubya either.
Can we say Kittay Panic, can we say Maximum Confusion? I think we can. You should have seen it, I think my whole kamper was throbbing from the pitter pattering of my overactive heart in there. How could this have happened? Where exactly *am* I anyway, and why why why didn't I get to Florida as planned?
I couldn't figure it out, especially with the unhappy "Me0w, EH!?!"s surrounding me. Bast, those cats sounded about ready to spit on someone and claw their eyes out! I don't think I wanted to leave my little room at that point for anything.
Then it went silent.
Sounded like the other cats left suddenly for some reason. About that time I was really hoping I hadn't been left alone with a bored and hungry pitbull or something. I was hallucinating, jumping at shadows in the darkness then. But no, I heard voices. That of a burly sounding moose...and a really sweet dutch cow.
This could only mean one thing, couldn't it?
So the second I put "Mew, Eh" and the Moose+Moo combo together, I saw her Marnly face peer in at me worriedly.
"Well, there you are Miss Kittay! You were so quiet in there I wasn't sure if you were awake or what, eh."
I purred and poked my whiskers out curiously trying to figure out what I was doing there when she gave me a card from Donny saying I was supposed to have fun and make friends with Zubby and Zoe and he'd see me when he got back to Dallas and I got back home.
Hrmph, the nerve! He went and got himself a boy and didn't want to have a kittay at his feet now. I see how it works.
(hee hee hee)
Fine. I'll just... uhh, make friends? With those angry "Mew, eh"ers and crocofrogs??
*insert image of kittay turning around and tucking her tail back into that kamper here*
Ah, but Marn knows my weaknesses too well for that. She was armed with vegan treats and...Kinder Surprises.
Doh!
Must...resist...milk...white...choco.....too late. I'm a weakling.
Beep, Beep, Beep...Kittay in Marnland.
It was great though, she treated me like a little kittay princess, which really didn't get me started out on the right foot with the other cats. I got my own dish, and special vegan kittay food which they scoffed at and taunted me about. That was okay, I had the foil beanie hats and all of the pictures hordes of people see online to send them back into blushing silence.
But I decided my true mission was this: to convince Marn that she could really use a third kitty and keep me. Really, she looks to be pretty easy to win over...and she does live in a kitty paradise. And with all of her gardening I'm sure it'd be easy for me to find lots of ::cough:: vegan salads ::cough:: and stuff...oh yeah, I'm supposed to get on her GOOD side. And not to mention she's such a wonderfully sweet purrson, what cat wouldn't want that?
Hmmn...sure would be useful if I could get rid of those crocofrogs for her, but I'm too much Scaredy Kittay to find a way to do that.
Well, I went for the adorable lap kittay method and let her know I'd never make a move on her man like SOME other nameless [read: ZUBBY!] felines have been known to do. That's a good start, right?
Zub and Zoe didn't like this. They were talking of things like needing to sacrifice a youth to the Crocofrog Gods and thinking Paul could use a Kittay Skin Hat....
We all went spastic when Marn presented me with my own pretty necklace and personalized bowl. She gave me a Z name that fit in with the others, I was wininng!
So, why did I go spastic too?
Ehmn. I just think a name like Zappaphire or Zenitia or something woulda been nice. But, but but but...
Zzzygote? To poke fun at the laziness of felines and my tiny size? *sniff*
So, it was all great fun but I figured I couldn't really stay anyway, especially not if Zubby and Zoe didn't like me since it's really their place. There just wasn't meant to be a third Z in that catdom.
So I had to depart, it broke her heart though lemme tell ya. I hated having to do that but something had to be done. Ol Zub Zub probably would have never forgiven her otherwise.
I still love you though, Marn! Ya know that, right?
